Cassandra Pentaghast (
stabsbooks) wrote2016-07-31 02:50 pm
for
obi_wanmanshow
The name had been a part of her nearly all her life, as familiar to her as her own. When it had first appeared - glowing golden script on her inner arm - she had been fascinated, spending hours upon hours staring at it, tracing the letters with one finger, dreaming about the kind of person her soulmate might be. The name was strange to her, not Nevarran or Orlesian or anything she had heard of, but that had only added to the mystery and excitement.
His name had appeared on her skin at the time of her first flowering - one more marker on her path from girlhood into womanhood. If she had been the sort to go to school and have friends, it might have been the kind of thing to giggle over with the other girls, to shyly hide away, only to shriek in feigned indigence when her sleeve was playfully pushed up and the name finally revealed. As it was, Cassandra learned from tutors, and rarely had contact with other children. The name, like her beloved books and dreams of dragon-hunting, became a solitary escape, a daydream of a better life.
Both had faded, in time, as such things do. Fantasies of true love and romance had been replaced by the realities of work and duty (though Cassandra had never quite been able to let go of her fondness for romance, if only entirely fictional ones). And the name on her arm had faded from a bright gold to something duller and duller as the years went on, until it was something that could not be seen at all except in the brightest light of day.
(The longer it took, they said, the more your soulmate's name faded, the less likely you were ever to find him at all. And this one - an unknown, foreign name, one belonging to a man who clearly lacked either the interest or the means to seek out a soulmate with the name Pentaghast, well...)
Cassandra herself couldn't say exactly when it was she had stopped expecting to find him. Certainly it had been nothing overnight, no sudden revelation. She had simply woken up one day, no longer a girl in her twenties eager to make the world her own, but a woman in her late thirties - accomplished, certainly, perhaps even fulfilled - but utterly alone, and more and more likely to stay that way.
But the name is still a part of her, as much as it ever had been. And so it is that when she hears it spoken aloud for the first time, she doesn't even blink; hearing the words she had whispered so reverently to herself for twenty-five years is as natural as breathing.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi." She nods sharply, focused on her work, ignoring the tiny voice in the back of her mind that is urgently whispering something, something is happening, this is important - She holds her hand out to shake - her arms, as they always are these days, fully covered by long sleeves that meet her gloves, the barely-visible name securely hidden from even the most prying eyes. "I am Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast."
His name had appeared on her skin at the time of her first flowering - one more marker on her path from girlhood into womanhood. If she had been the sort to go to school and have friends, it might have been the kind of thing to giggle over with the other girls, to shyly hide away, only to shriek in feigned indigence when her sleeve was playfully pushed up and the name finally revealed. As it was, Cassandra learned from tutors, and rarely had contact with other children. The name, like her beloved books and dreams of dragon-hunting, became a solitary escape, a daydream of a better life.
Both had faded, in time, as such things do. Fantasies of true love and romance had been replaced by the realities of work and duty (though Cassandra had never quite been able to let go of her fondness for romance, if only entirely fictional ones). And the name on her arm had faded from a bright gold to something duller and duller as the years went on, until it was something that could not be seen at all except in the brightest light of day.
(The longer it took, they said, the more your soulmate's name faded, the less likely you were ever to find him at all. And this one - an unknown, foreign name, one belonging to a man who clearly lacked either the interest or the means to seek out a soulmate with the name Pentaghast, well...)
Cassandra herself couldn't say exactly when it was she had stopped expecting to find him. Certainly it had been nothing overnight, no sudden revelation. She had simply woken up one day, no longer a girl in her twenties eager to make the world her own, but a woman in her late thirties - accomplished, certainly, perhaps even fulfilled - but utterly alone, and more and more likely to stay that way.
But the name is still a part of her, as much as it ever had been. And so it is that when she hears it spoken aloud for the first time, she doesn't even blink; hearing the words she had whispered so reverently to herself for twenty-five years is as natural as breathing.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi." She nods sharply, focused on her work, ignoring the tiny voice in the back of her mind that is urgently whispering something, something is happening, this is important - She holds her hand out to shake - her arms, as they always are these days, fully covered by long sleeves that meet her gloves, the barely-visible name securely hidden from even the most prying eyes. "I am Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast."

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And the weight of it comes down on his mind; he had no plan when he came in here more complicated than a candlestick, and now all he knows is that Cassandra is here and so he is staying. He hasn't even got a decent set of kit, anymore-- and his sword is stolen from a dead bandit, and of inferior make. He has nothing in the world but the clothes on his back, the contents of his pack, and the woman in his arms.
He's walked half the length of Ferelden and back again in these threadbare shoes, and never felt so fortunate in his entire life.
"Is there somewhere, perhaps where we can rest? Together."
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But she nods, pulling back from him reluctantly, though her hand finds his and doesn't let go.
"I have a room. A...a house." Only two rooms, but even that is more than she had wanted, or needed. Leliana had insisted. "It is sparse and poorly constructed, and the wind finds its way in through every crack, but it is...private." She darts her eyes up to his, suddenly shy.
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"I'll keep you warm," He promises quietly. And his smile softens around the edges, melting at the sight of her shyness, a side of her so rarely seen, and all his, "I am tired. Though, at the moment, I feel I could conquer the world."
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"We will conquer it together," she declares, leading him to the door. "But first you will rest." And she pulls the door open, not caring that the rumors will surely have spread by now, that the eyes on everyone in Haven will be upon them as they make their way to her small cabin. Let them gossip. Let them stare. She has her soulmate back, and nothing else matters.
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He doesn't say a word, only draws her with him, towards the bed. At the sight of it, heavy weariness overcame his buoying spirit; how long had it been since he'd slept more than a couple of hours at a stretch? The thought of those cold, lonely nights, undressing in the dark so he won't have to see her name on his skin... And the reality of her, present, here and alive. Then he sees the room, the shabbiness, and it's lack of use, and thinks of Cassandra in the same darkness as he.
Abruptly, he needs... he needs, comfort and warmth, like a child, clutching in the dark. He pulls at her again, into a hard, almost harsh hug. Let it be gone, faded into the past.
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"My love," she says, and her voice cracks on the word. She presses her face against his shoulder, tears soaking the fabric of his shirt as she sobs. "I love you. Obi-Wan...I love you. I love you."
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"I love you," He murmurs the reply, low and almost guttural, fighting to speak through the lump in his own throat, "Oh, Cassandra. It's alright, now. It's alright."
He thinks, he has certainly not been the only one losing sleep to the terrible black grief of their separation, of their mutual assumptions.
"Easy. Breathe, love, please don't cry. I'm here."
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But she's beginning to.
Drawing in a ragged breath, she closes her eyes, listening to his own breathing, feeling his arms warm and firm around her, reassuring herself that this is real, that he's not about to disappear. Finally, she looks up, brushing trembling fingers down his cheek, and gives him a watery smile.
"Obi-Wan," she murmurs, and her smile widens, expression softening as she looks at him. "Come. You must rest."
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He needs to know, to be assured, that she is truly here. That he's not hallucinating the lot of this, or dreaming it.
"...It would be... When I wake, I..." He flounders for a minute more then sighs, and smiles, rueful and sad and helpless. Obi-Wan bends his head to press his brow to hers, simple gesture, and heartfelt, "I don't want to let go again."
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"Of course I will stay," she say softly, tender and affectionate and reassuring. "I need - I need you, too. To know that you are here." She sighs, a breathy little sound that is somehow full of both exhaustion and contentment at once. She has been so hopeless, so lonely - but he is here now, alive, beyond all reason, and her future is bright and sunny with renewed purpose.
"I would not leave you now."
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"Thank you," He whispers, instead, and closes his own eyes, "Let's... let's go to bed."
He would later have no memory of the next minute or so, lost to the fog of weariness; too tired, even, to fully undress for bed. But he manages to get his outermost layers off, and his boots. Challenging as it might be, he does both without clutching at Cassandra, though he pulls her back into his arms afterward as if frightened she might have gone away, and kisses her again.
Maker, he's tired. When the road seemed endless and the darkness eternal, he hadn't cared; what purpose weariness, when there was noplace to rest? But now, now that he can draw her down with him onto the bed, and be warm together between sheet and blanket, it is like a weight pressing on him. Safe, and warm, home at last; where they both belonged. Together.
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She's all too willing to slide into his arms, leaning against his chest and embracing him in return. Already it seems half a dream, the bed where she had spent so many lonely nights now transformed into a cloud of peace and comfort, with Obi-Wan a warm, firm presence at her side.
He falls asleep almost immediately, but Cassandra lingers awake, listening to his heartbeat and his slow, steady breaths, marveling at the miracle that had brought him back to her. A few tears fall on his chest, relief and happiness as much as lingering grief; it is too much to take in, everything she had thought lost forever now returned to her all at once. She slides her fingers over his arm, silently tracing the letters of her name there. Still shining gold. It has not been so long since they were together, since that magical night, but she feels like she's lived a lifetime since. As if Obi-Wan, their marriage, had been no more than an impossible fantasy, lost forever to time.
Eventually, she dozes off, tucked into his side, her hand still curled firmly around his arm.
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"This is a dream," He whispers, to himself, but doesn't quite know if he believes it is one. If this is what the temptation of a Desire Demon looks like, then he is already lost, and gladly so. He closes his eyes again, some minutes later, and in the morning remembers nothing.
The third time he wakes, it is not yet morning, but very nearly that. The sky is making promises that it won't keep for hours yet, and the earliest risers of the camp and fort are moving about. There is the smell beginning of breakfast, and the cheerful sound of the watch being changed, and the chickens fed, and the horses. The blacksmith is already at work, and though the sound of his hammer is tinny at this distance, it is no less rhythmic.
Obi-Wan lies awake, unmoving, utterly contented, and waiting. The peace is almost physical, like a thick blanket of snow, laid over the world, a shield to keep fast the warmth of his bed, and the woman lying beside him. He looks down at her and smiles between long blinks, utterly besotted with the small details of cheekbones and eyelashes, and the shape of her lips.
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She wakes slowly, drifting up towards wakefulness, feeling strangely at peace, and only once she opens her eyes and wakes fully does she remember the reason. Obi-Wan's arm is a comforting weight around her shoulders, and when she tilts her face up towards his, she finds him smiling fondly down at her.
"Good morning, my love," she murmurs, unwilling to disturb the early-morning quiet. She smiles back, yesterday's outpouring of joy returning with consciousness, sending a current of happiness and excitement shooting through her. He is back, and the world is theirs for the taking. "Are you rested?"
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It seems almost too much effort to move, but move he does, reaching to thread the fingers of his hand through hers, a greeting of its own. His smile widens, perceptibly, and he cannot help but want to kiss her. Patience, and manners, win out. For the moment.
"...And you?"
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Plenty of time.
"Very much so," she assures him, and it's true. She can't remember the last time she slept so well. She meets his eyes, the hint of an anticipatory gleam in her own. "I have missed you."
This, too, is true - she has missed him, every hour of every day.
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"I see," He goes up on one elbow in a slow, deliberate curl, and gives her a more proper good-morning, tender and enthusiastic. Under the blankets, another part of himself joins the waking world and takes a slow but definite interest in the proceedings, "Well, I'm here now. And since I've no formal position here, as of yet... I'm all yours, for the morning."
For life, if he has his own way.
"I've missed you, as well. In every way."
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Anything that the kiss or the look on Obi-Wan's face has stirred in her is easy enough to hide. She smiles at him, bright-eyed and innocent. The question in the quirk of his brow goes unacknowledged and unanswered.
"In every way?" She tilts her head, pursing her lips as if in thought. "Are there so many?"
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"More than you know. I've had a lot of time, recently, to think of new ways, and list them. Would you like to hear some?"
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"Please." She lays a hand on his chest and leaves it there without moving, not so much as a stroke of her thumb over his bared skin. "I would love to."
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His grin had faded, turned soft and fond again, in the odd nostalgia telling of the moment. But, he wasn't done.
"And the way you write, like you're so worried I won't understand what you mean; but I didn't mind, if it meant the letters were longer. I was greedy for more of you. I kept looking at the sky, when I ought to have been paying attention, just hoping for more. There's so much about you, that I love. That I've missed. I feel I could go on for days and never run short."
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Maker, but she wants more of that.
"I see," she says at last, fighting to keep her voice steady. It works. For now. But what does one even say to such a deluge of praise? It doesn't escape her notice that everything he had named - her fierce gaze, her scar, even her fumbling attempts with a pen - has, at some point, been a source of anxiety or embarrassment for her, an invitation for derision (she is too blunt, too harsh, her figure and her bearing not at all what a lady's should be - ) or a personal failing.
And yet here Obi-Wan is, gazing at her with all the love in the world - greedy for more of you. She shivers, then leans forward to kiss him again. Words will fail her, she is sure, and so she does her best to pour her gratitude and the deep love and affection she feels into the kiss. When she pulls back, her eyes are soft.
"Thank you." She kisses him again, though it's little more than the softest graze of her lips against his, words murmured into his mouth. "I have missed you, as well."
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Or rather, any complaints to be made should be made about it never happening quickly, nor often, enough. But isn't that always the way? His hands skim down, shoulders, ribs, waist and hips, idle and purposeful all one. Turnabout is fair play-- and just because he's lying back, practically pinned under her, it doesn't follow that he's at any disadvantage.
"Tell me?"
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Tell me?
"I have missed you," she says, her voice low. She strokes her hand down his chest, slow and methodical. "I thought I knew what my soulmate would be; I dreamed of a man who would be strong, and kind, and good of heart, but I..."
She looks up, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she meets his own. "But I never could have imagined anything - anyone as wonderful as you." Her lip trembles, and she takes in a shuddering breath, shifting to prop herself up on her arms on his chest and look into his eyes. "You are a gift from the Maker, Obi-Wan, and I will never, never stop thanking Him for returning you to me."
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"Thank you," he whispers, blinking furiously, and gives her a smile he fears is more watery than the reassurance he wants to give her, "I love you. I--"
Words fail him. After a moment he gives up trying to form a coherent response and simply strokes back the fringe of hair at her temple, fingertips bumping along the perennial braid, and sighs.
"I love you. If you feel blessed, then-- then I most certainly am. Now that we're here, both of us, and under the banner of this... this Inquisition," He'd nearly forgotten the word; the important thing was neither the breach nor the rifts nor the supposed Herald of Andraste, but Cassandra herself, "No greater duty can ever carry me from your side. I'm here. And I will be, for as long as I'm able to stand."
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